175. How Coaching Can Change Your Life with Clair
Have you ever wondered what coaching is really like?
Then this week’s episode of Satisfied AF is just the thing!
Join me for a conversation with my friend and client, Clair.
Clair is a global Content Creation + Creative Operations leader, Strategic Advisor, and Community Builder.
When Clair and I first met, she wanted to take her business to the next level.
Not only did we hit her initial revenue goal, we’ve revolutionized how Clair shows up at work, at home, in relationships, and more.
Join us on this episode to hear Clair’s thoughts on working with me, both in a one-on-one capacity as well as in my small group, and the transformations she’s experienced along the way.
Want to create more satisfaction & delight in your life, career, relationships, and more? Let’s work together!
Click here to schedule a consult call and we can have a conversation about what’s going on in your life, what you’d like to create, and how coaching can help you get there.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
The reason Clair decided to work with me.
Why Clair calls herself a recovering executive.
How she surpassed the goals she wanted to achieve.
The signs you’re growing in the direction you want.
What to expect as you work on and achieve your goals.
Why you must have a kind and loving relationship with yourself.
The reservations Clair had about coaching and how she feels now.
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE:
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
This week we’re talking to my client Clair all about business, revenue goals, and what actually happens when you sign up to coach with me.
The Satisfied AF podcast is the place to learn how to create a life and career that’s wildly delicious. Want a steamier sex life? We’ve got you. Want a more satisfying career? We’ll cover that too. And you can be sure we’ll spend lots of time talking about how to build connected, fun relationships that can handle life’s ups and downs. No matter what goals you’re working on, this show will help you create a one of a kind life that is just right for you. Join me, life and career coach Kori Linn and each week I’ll give you lots of practical tips, tools, and proven strategies to help you create all the satisfaction your heart desires.
Kori: Hello, hello, hello. Happy Wednesday. This week, I have a super special treat for all of you. This week we have my friend and client, Clair, on the podcast to tell you all about her experience working with me. And rather than introduce her, I just want you to hear from Clair herself. Clair, why don’t you tell us a little bit about who you are, how you came to work with me, just kick off the conversation.
Clair: You got it. Well, first of all, Kori, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. Always a pleasure to talk to you, whatever the subject matter is. And hi, everybody. My name is Clair and I hope it’s a beautiful day wherever you are in the world. I’ve been working with Kori on and off for – Well, we’ve known each other for probably four plus years. And then we’ve been working together for over two years now, I think.
Kori: Yeah, I think that’s right.
Clair: And, yeah, so I’ve done both one-to-one coaching with you and also been part of your small group, all of which has been fantastic. I’m on my, I don’t know, third round, fourth round of one-on-one coaching, which has been great. Something like that.
Kori: Yeah, I think it’s the third round.
Clair: Third round.
Kori: I know, we lose track.
Clair: I know. Let’s just say I keep coming back. But I am a, what popped into my mind is a recovering executive from the creative industry. I’m based in New York and Kori was my first one-to-one coach that I had ever worked with. I had had some coaching within a couple of coaching groups in the past, but never found someone that I connected with as much as Kori. So I was so happy when she was available and had some space.
And I have learned so much working together and we’ve achieved some pretty amazing things along the way. And, you know, blood, sweat, and tears, probably more sweat and tears than blood, I would be admitting.
Kori: Yeah, I think that’s correct.
Clair: But as a former goth who’s now in menopause, we have had blood and sweat and there were tears, but it’s been all good.
Kori: Yes. I loved what you said about being a recovering executive and I want to get into that, but first tell everybody why you originally came to me for one-on-one coaching, what your goal was and what the update on that is after we’ve worked together.
Clair: Okay, boy, I should have gone back and looked at my notes, but I’m pretty sure I have a good idea. I had been on the consulting side. I left a corporate job in the fashion industry about six years ago. And I’ve had some good years, I’ve had some lean years, but they were inconsistent. And some of that I can certainly put on the circumstances at the time.
So there were years, let’s just say the pandemic was not a great year. 2020 was a little hard, but then 2021 was better. 19 was pretty good, or 18 was good, 19 was not so great. So I wasn’t clear how to take my business to the next level or even if I should be trying. There was that moment of when do I give up? And when do I just say enough, I want to go back to having a fat salary. And if that means I have to work 80 hours a week some weeks, okay, which I really didn’t want to do.
So a big part of why I came is to really take my business to the next level. Figure out what I needed to do to have a blend of freedom and success and let’s face it, money, while not losing my head. Without losing the time that I love to have to do things like going to museums. And I live in New York, I can take advantage of so many amazing things. I don’t necessarily want to work full-time. What does that look like in my business?
So the way we actually started working together was a little bit tumultuous from my perspective, because you had suggested a money goal, which I was terrified of because I had this idea that, oh my God, if we make it a money goal, then I’m just going to have to pull all guns blazing, go take every single project and it doesn’t matter if you want to do it or not. Just kind of put the blinders on and massive action towards that.
But then I remember actually we had a conversation right when we started working together because you had a podcast on, was it mellow action?
Kori: Mellow massive action. Yes, I love that.
Clair: Mellow massive actions, it was so good because it really encapsulated a great blend of massive action, which is a wonderful thing, and not feeling like you’re 150 miles an hour all the time, which I don’t want to do anymore, which is why I left corporate.
Kori: Right, because that’s exactly what I was going to say. Like that is why you left being an executive, from my understanding. That’s why you don’t want that full-time job, is because you don’t want that super intense, high pressure, unsustainable kind of burnout-y way of working. Like that was exactly what you wanted to avoid.
And I remember having these conversations with you like, well, what if it’s a money goal, like X dollars, but it’s also while Y factors, while being able to take a walk every day, while being able to go to a museum once a week. While being able to have these other factors in your life that you also wanted, because even when we want to be successful in our business, it’s never just about the money goal.
Clair: Right. Yes.
Kori: It’s about the life, the satisfying life that that fits into.
Clair: Absolutely. I will refrain from swearing or at least attempt to on this podcast.
Kori: Oh, there’s no need to refrain from swearing. I mean, it’s called Satisfied AF, and we all know what the F is for.
Clair: It’s for fun, which it is. But yeah, that was the big thing. I think I also had a really strict definition of what success looked like that was based on really what, I mean, let’s face it, what society had taught me, what I learned growing up.
Kori: Of course.
Clair: Which was do your 9 to 5 job, or really in my case, your 8am till 11pm job, work really hard, take two weeks off a year, or if you’re really lucky, you get four weeks off a year, which you’ll probably have to answer emails and phone calls while that’s happening anyway. And then deal with burnout, deal with not feeling satisfied.
And that was really, I think, a big part of why when we started working together, I loved, again, I was very hesitant on the money goal. But as you said, it was a money goal, and also being satisfied as fun, as AF, because that was really what I wanted, was how do I pay rent in New York, which is not cheap. God knows, anybody listening out there knows I’m talking about that. You all in San Francisco know the same thing. And so how do you do that, and still have the elements of your life that make your life complete and have time to rest?
And that’s really what I was missing. I had the first thing, which was I was successful. I was well known. I was making bookoo dollars, but I didn’t have the satisfaction of my life. I was tired. Every weekend was like, can I stay up past 8pm? And what really is fun to me? And am I enjoying what I’m doing? And how am I spending my time? And I was spending my time at work.
Which, hey, look, if that is your thing, I am 110% for it. I want people to go after what they love. But for me, I wanted more out of life, while not having what I used to call the one taco lifestyle, which is you go into a restaurant and you can only afford one taco. I want to be able to have two or three tacos if I’m hungry. And that’s, of course, a metaphor for all the things that we like to have in life. But that was really something that was important to me that I did not have. I felt like it was either or, you have success and you have money, or you enjoy your life.
Kori: Right. It sounds like you were like, oh, either I can have the variety of tacos in my career, or I can have the variety of tacos in this other area of my life. And you were like, you know what, fuck that. What I would really like is to be able to have flexibility and variety and abundance in multiple areas.
I think we should just tell people because I think this is so fun. When Clair and I set the money goal, the money goal we set was literally like 3x what she’d done in her business the year before. And that’s scary, right? It can be really scary to set a big goal that is that far away from your current reality or your recent reality.
And a lot of times y’all, you know me, I’m all about like, let’s baby step, like let’s make these small moves. But sometimes it can also be really powerful to be like, where do I actually want to be? And be honest with yourself about that, whether you hit the goal on the first try or not.
Like I’ve talked many times on the podcast about my first goal was to make six figures in my business. And the first 12 months I was in business, I made less than $15,000. And I just remember crying, like weeping at one of my coach’s coaching retreats, like this isn’t enough money. I’m never going to make money.
And the second 12 months in business, I did make $100,000, right? So it’s like having the goal the first time was painful because I was so far away from it. But being willing to have it, fail at it and then do it again and then succeed was actually one of the best things. Like it was a really killer experience.
But for Clair, she didn’t fail it the first time.
Clair: No.
Kori: We set that goal that was three X her previous revenue and you achieved that shit. Tell us about it.
Clair: I did. I did it and I made like my money goal and like $800. I mean, it was just like just over the edge. And it was hard. I mean, I will admit, I think 90, it must’ve been 80 or 90% of the income that year came in the fourth quarter.
Kori: Right.
Clair: It was just one of those years where we were, as we talk a lot about now, planting the seeds and then sowing the seeds. Really, the garden of life, if you will.
Kori: The garden of revenue, right? You were planting the seeds, you were nurturing the seeds.
Clair: Yes.
Kori: And unlike actual seeds where the actual sun will shine on them, you have to be the sun. You have to be the water, right?
Clair: Yes, absolutely.
Kori: And you did that. But yeah, then they all were like trying to blossom and fruit at the same time. And then you were trying to harvest all the fruit, which can be a thing that happens, y’all, in business. Like sometimes you plant a lot of seeds and that’s great. And then all the fruit comes to harvest and you’re like, oh, how do I harvest all this fruit at one time?
Clair: Right. And that’s when you realize, oh, do I have a scalable business and I should be bringing in additional people. And that is something that I’ve learned to do.
We set that money goal in 22, and then in 23 I did have a couple of projects where I needed additional help. And I knew how to handle that in a different way than I had before we had gone through the money goal, actually.
Kori: That’s amazing. I think that’s such a good point too, that like when you have a goal and you achieve it, it’s awesome. Don’t get me wrong, that part is amazing. And that’s one of the things that coaching helps with the most is you set a goal, you figure out how to achieve the goal. But in achieving the goal, you often also figure out, to use a metaphor, where are the holes in my boat, right?
Clair: Yes.
Kori: And sometimes you’re like, oh, I thought I could bring in that amount of revenue with only me in the business. And if everything had gone perfectly, maybe I could have, but because all the fruit harvested in the fourth quarter, then I’m like, oh, maybe I need additional help to be able to do this work on this timeline. And that doesn’t mean you failed or that anything has gone wrong. And I’m not just saying this for Clair. Clair already knows this.
I’m saying this for everyone listening, because I think so often people do achieve their goal or they get close to it. And then new interesting obstacles and challenges come up. And that can feel really disheartening if you’re not expecting those. But that actually can be a sign that you’re growing and going in the direction you want to.
But at every level there are challenges, which I’m sorry, I know that’s so rude. And our brains, we’re all like, when I get to this level, everything will be perfect and fun. And that’s not real. I’m so sorry, it’s not.
Clair: But that’s kind of the – Yes, that’s painful, but one of the things I’ve learned working together over the past few years is that that’s another opportunity for growth.
Kori: Definitely.
Clair: And so one of the things we spoke about at the beginning of 2023, after I achieved my money goal in 22 is, okay, I know I can do it. I was tired. I mean, Q4 was tough in 22. So how do I do it now with more of the elements of what I want? Now I can do it, now how do I make it even better the next time?
Kori: How do I make it more joyful? How do I make it more sustainable? Because especially for you, you’re a recovering executive. We’re not trying to have a copy paste of the lifestyle you didn’t like, right? If you wanted that lifestyle, you’d go back into being an employee.
And so sometimes when we have a burst of success, then it’s also like, oh, this was great. A million points for me and my efforts and my success and achieving that goal, and that’s actually not exactly how I want it to happen.
Actually, this has happened to me over and over in my business. It’s been like having success and then being like, okay, but I do not want to carbon copy that. How do I make these big and small adjustments so the business and my experience of it and my goals and successes can be more and more in line with what I want?
And oftentimes you don’t know that until you’ve had some successes where you’re like, this was great and I’d never like to do that part that way ever again.
Clair: Yes. Yes, and Kori got to experience me dealing with a number of clients who were wonderful people, and are to this day, but we had our challenges. And I was working with new clients, in some cases working with clients I’d worked with before, but I was in some cases doing projects that I’d never done before, working with clients that I’d never worked with before. And so one of the great things about coaching and about working with Kori was that we were able to tackle those week to week.
So it wasn’t just the money goal. It was dealing with all of the thoughts and feelings and emotions and the trials and tribulations that happened during this. And then being able to, you know, at the beginning of the next year, because at the end of the year it was the holidays, so I just wanted to have a margarita and go off into the sunset.
But the beginning of the next year talking about, okay, what did we learn? What’s next? What does my business look like now that we’re going into the next phase? And that really has been interesting as well.
Kori: I love that you’re bringing that up too, because I think sometimes when we’re working in business, our brains almost forget, like revenue is not a lottery prize. When you get revenue, it’s because you got work, right? And we’re all like, yes, the revenue, I got the big amount. But then there’s the work that goes with that.
And maybe that sounds really obvious, everyone listening. But I think when you’re used to working in like a 9 to 5 or an 8 to 11, like Clair was saying, and then you’re working in a business and now you’re the salesperson and you’re doing the delivery of the product and you’re doing all these things, sometimes you’re kind of going after revenue goals like they are the targets, but there’s this other you who, it’s the same person, who then also has to deliver on that.
And so that can bring up a lot of challenges. It doesn’t always, but I think it often does. And being really aware of that, I think, can actually help you achieve so much more business success because then you’re like, oh, okay, I have a coach or I have a team or I have these things in place so that not only can I receive the revenue, but all of the challenges and problems and tasks and decisions and things that come in that are the work, essentially, of earning the revenue, I actually have the capacity to handle all of that.
Clair: Yes, 100%. And I think that actually since then, since the money goal, the goals have shifted. Not to say that I don’t want to make that money anymore because I do, but now the goals are more about what’s the type of work I’m taking? How am I pitching things?
And honestly, a lot of the work last year was really about how I’m treating myself while going after this work.
Kori: Yes, because if you have an insanely successful business with extremely high revenue, but you treat yourself unkindly, it’s not going to be fun to be in that business, y’all. And that’s why at the end of the day, like I’m always talking about, how do you love yourself through things and how do you have an incredible, kind relationship with yourself?
Because no amount of external success is going to give you a better relationship with yourself. And you can weather and navigate incredible amounts of external difficulty and challenge if you do have that positive relationship with yourself. Like it will carry you through whether externally things are going great or going fucking terribly.
Clair: Right, right. And just knowing that, you know, feeling the feelings and being okay with where I am has been revolutionary in so many ways for me because where it used to be, you know, let’s face it, it’s traumatizing when people don’t write you back in a way. Oh my God, they looked at my scope of work and they’re never going to respond. I actually am dealing with this with a client right now.
But instead of making it about, did I say the wrong thing in the email? Maybe I asked her for too much money. Am I really worth it? All of those things, of course, came up in my head. It’s not like they go away, but I feel like I have a toolkit now, along with actually getting to talk to you once a week, but I have a toolkit of things I’ve learned working together that I’m able to say, you know what? Girl, you’ve got to honor your value. You are a powerful human being and it’s so important for you to go after what you know you’re worth and also to make sure that people are aware of what you’re worth.
And so now I respond to a lack of communication from clients or a, let’s face it, you know, they say no, then I might respond in a completely different way. We talked about this the other week. I had a client who came back and said, I can’t afford that. That’s out of the budget that I have. We were talking about doing a workshop together.
And basically I said, look, if you have a budget in mind, tell me how much you would like to spend. And we can figure out if there’s a way we can meet in the middle. Maybe I’m not spending as much time. Maybe we look for local New York events instead of me going to LA or Chicago, for example.
And it really, I would say before we started working together, I would immediately say, okay, thanks for your time and then felt horrible about it, rather than trying to find a solution that works for everybody. And especially me.
Kori: And especially you. Yeah, you first, right? If it can work for you and them, great. Then y’all can work together. If it only works for them and not you, then we’re not going to take that project, right?
But yeah, I think really, coaching, it’s a toolkit that helps you be more solutions oriented. But it’s interesting because a lot of my clients already come to me very solutions oriented. Like you had a ton of experience solving problems in your industry. But I think what coaching helps with is the emotional side of things, as well as the actual problem solving of like, okay, person who wants to be my client but doesn’t have the budget, how do we move forward? What are the options?
But it’s also like being able to handle the disappointment, the devastation, the rejection without metabolizing that and making it about yourself. Like allowing that to come and pass through so you can keep going out and building the life you want to have, the career you want to have, et cetera.
And honestly, it is hard. Running a business is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And I think there’s a lot on the internet that’s all about how running a business is amazing because you plan your own schedule. And listen, it is and I love that element of it. And it’s also just a bucket of challenges with no IT department, right?
Clair: That’s the truth.
Kori: I actually was just dealing with a tech issue this weekend that I was crying. I was like, maybe I quit my business. I’m not quitting my business, y’all. But this is my brain too, right? It’s like when it’s hard, my brain’s like, oh. But we just keep going and we figure it out.
Okay, we could talk about everything all day long for forever, but let’s tell the people listening, like before you decided to come and work with me, did you have any reservations about coaching, about working with me, et cetera? And like, how do you feel about them now, whatever they were?
Clair: Well, I think if people couldn’t guess, money. Money is one of my challenges. And so I had a lot of thoughts about spending the money. I had been in a coaching group, which was about a hundred bucks a month. And that was hard for me in the beginning, but then I got there. And I knew that I wanted to evolve my business.
And I think really what that turned out to be was evolving me as much as it was actually evolving the business plan. But I didn’t know that that was going, you know, it’s not like buying a sweater at Nordstrom where you can see it and it’s tangible. And I know that this is a black sweater and it’s cashmere and it fits really well. And therefore the magic eight ball says signs point to, yes, that you are going to love wearing this sweater.
So coaching felt a little bit more nebulous. And I’ve always had, you know, for being a creative person, it’s very hard for me sometimes to make a decision if I can’t see what the result is going to be where. We’re sort of guessing because, obviously, with coaching part of it is what I bring to the table as well. This is a two-way street.
Looking at the funds and deciding that this was something that I was passionate about in that I knew that it was time for me to take the next step, that things had kind of been in a rut in my business for a few years, again, some good years, some not so good years, but nothing was evolving.
And that’s really what I wanted to see was, okay, if I invest in myself and I work with Kori and we figure out, you know, Kori, you coached me on how to kind of get my thoughts and feelings together to help evolve my business. And look, if at the end of that, I say, you know what? This entrepreneurial stuff is just too much, I’m going back in house. Then that’s great. But I would have –
I saw that it was a way to, I don’t want to say prove to myself whether I could do it or not, or really decide if I wanted to do it or not. And once I made the decision to go forth and do it, I was super excited. And that changed so much.
And the first time we worked together, I think we worked together for about six months. And I went and I actually was asked to be the chair of a conference. I took that on. I probably would not have done that before because I was too nervous. We talked a lot about how I was going to show up at the conference, how I was going to treat myself, what I was going to say when I got off stage. So much of that helped immensely.
And now, as you know, I’m a global thought leader. I get invited to speak at events. People pay me to speak at events, which I think is pretty remarkable.
Kori: It’s so fun.
Clair: It is. It is. And it’s just like, that’s my life. That is what I’m doing now. And so the investment for me has been tremendous. I mean, I’ve seen incredible return on my investment, let’s go ROI people. I think my biggest hesitation wasn’t, am I going to get something out of this? It was, am I going to get value out of something I’m spending money on?
Kori: I think that’s a very real concern for a lot of people. And I think you’re right, I do think coaching is nebulous. Especially because in the way I do it, it is a little bit different for everybody. And it’s a little bit like we’re picking up rocks and seeing what’s underneath them.
So people will come in and they’ll say, I want to enjoy being in my business more. Or I want to triple my revenue or I want to feel less stressed at work. And we always work on that, but it’s also a little bit like going into a dark labyrinth and then we’re like, oh, look what we found in here. And I do think that element is kind of unnerving for people.
But I also think it’s so worthwhile because that’s how you discover what was actually blocking you from getting what you wanted. And sometimes it’s a surprise when it turns out that it is.
Clair: Yes. Yes, I agree with that. I would have said that I was plenty nice to myself, but now I can say that I am truly in love with being me. There’s no one I’d rather be. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where I’m like, oh my God, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You look this, I don’t want to do that. You said something wrong, whatever. You know, the stuff your brain gives you every single day.
Kori: You are still human, correct.
Clair: Yes, exactly.
Kori: Yeah, me too.
Clair: Exactly, the morning madness sometimes I call it. But I know how to deal with it differently. I know sometimes when I get triggered in that way, and I don’t mean a PTSD thing, just simply when my brain goes to some dark places, the work that we’ve done together, I’m able to also say, okay, take a step back. Here are some things that you should maybe think about doing, or let’s do a thought download. Let’s do a model. Let’s see if we can get to what the thought is.
But if not, honestly, with me, sometimes it’s just go divert my attention with whatever it is that I’m terrified of. And usually it’s a work project. Go spend five minutes doing it. You gave me some advice one time when I was trying to work on a huge deck for a client, which your job is to put words on a page.
And when you took it out of the terrifying, “I have to develop a hundred page deck” and made it put words on a page, then every day when I sat down to work, whatever the topic was that I needed to write on, words on a page. And it enabled me to really segment it in a way that was edible, if you will, bite-sized bits.
Kori: And for everyone who’s listening, the final product was, of course, wonderful. It wasn’t just words on a page. But what a phrase like your only job is to put words on the page, what that does is it gets you out of the paralysis. It gets you out of the terror. It gets you out of the, this has to be perfect or I’ll never get another fucking client ever again, or this has to be perfect or I will like die. Right?
So the brain, when it’s really afraid of something, often wants to either run away, fight it, be paralyzed, et cetera, right? Like these are the stress responses. So when we can take the stakes down, we’re not being disrespectful to the size of the task. We’re not being disrespectful to what the client is paying us for. What we’re actually doing is we’re just lowering the stakes until we can do it.
And then once we start doing it, then usually we’re like, oh yeah, I do know some things about this thing, right? And then after we’ve done the first pass, second pass, third pass, then we can also come in with our much more critical, and I don’t mean that like judgmental, I mean that like thoughtful. Like, okay, how do I make this actually a really great product?
So what we’re doing there is we’re just allowing ourselves to get started by lowering the stakes, which is something I talk about all the time, but I really wanted to give that context to what Clair was talking about in this moment.
Clair: Yes. Yes. And what it enabled me to do is really get my first draft done so that each section I could get the first draft done and then go back and edit it. And somehow, for me, editing is a lot easier than the first draft, probably for most people. It’s that first initial, oh my God, I have so much I have to do. And then when you can remove some of that terror, you just dive in. And as we know with that well-known brand, just do it, that’s quite poignant and I think that means something.
Kori: It’s like I made a TikTok, actually, this morning that was like, if you can’t whole-ass it, half-ass it because you can get a lot done by half-assing it and you can always come back later and polish what you’ve done, right?
Clair: Absolutely.
Kori: But for some of us, it’s like that getting started is the hardest part. So just get started.
I do think, Clair, there are actually other people who are great at first drafts and what they struggle with is polishing, right? This is why a lot of times we work in teams or pairs, right, because one person’s good at this part and one person’s good at the other. But if you’re alone in your business, there are accommodations you can make, you know, coaching tools you can use to help yourself do the part that actually doesn’t come as naturally or as easy to you.
Also, we can obviously hire people out, but that’s not always an option. So being able to support yourself in the ways you need to be supported to get the job done, that’s definitely a big thing we do in coaching.
Clair: Yes. Yes. And I think what popped into my head is when you’re an entrepreneur or a solopreneur, you have to be Lennon and McCartney. And then I realized, I’m not sure that people will get that, so let’s say you have to be Beyonce and Jay-Z, and that can be really hard work because you’ve got to change your hats. And as you said earlier, when you are a business development person, you’re doing the work, you’re the accounting group, you are the presentation specialist, you’re post-production, you’re the whole kit and caboodle.
Kori: You’re the IT department.
Clair: Exactly. I draw the line at doing my own taxes though. That one, I have to send that one out. But yeah, really that’s a lot of hats to wear. And I think that a lot of us have a lot of hats to wear in life. And sometimes it’s hard to navigate, you know, who am I today? Who am I in this moment? Who am I in this moment? And to find the undercurrent of who I am in every moment and be able to bring her into every moment, if you will.
I mean, I think I’ve said it to you before, it’s like when I show up as myself, that’s when the magic happens. And that’s something I’ve learned from working with you, which is that I don’t have to replace who I am to be somebody to make other people happy. I can just be myself and make myself happy. And from that, then look, if people aren’t happy, I’m sorry. But most people are, and that’s amazing.
Kori: Right. I will also say, just to piggyback on that, I think what coaching does, it does allow you to bring yourself with love and respect into every situation. It also allows you to give yourself the support you need to thrive in circumstances that you wouldn’t normally thrive in.
I think so often before coaching, people are like, well, I’m good at this and I’m bad at that. And then I have to beat myself up about the thing I’m bad at. Whereas I’m like, okay, you’re good at this. That’s great.
If this other thing, you have a struggle or a challenge, I’m not even going to say you’re bad at that. I’m like, you have a struggle or a challenge, how can we accommodate that? How can we work around that? How can we support you uniquely and individually in that? Because then you can bring yourself to every situation and generally be successful in them because you’re working with yourself instead of kind of working against yourself.
Clair: Yes. Yes.
Kori: Yes.
Clair: Plus life is just better when you’re not beating yourself up all the time.
Kori: Right? It is just better. Who would you rather spend time with, someone who’s kind to you and supports you or someone who beats you up? I mean, as I always say on the podcast, if that’s working for you, if it’s like a sexy self BDSM thing, I’m not here to take that away from you. I’m just like, what’s going to be delightful for you personally? What if we do more of that?
Clair: Yes. Yes. Yes, agreed.
Kori: Okay, Clair, what would you tell anyone who has been considering working with me, but is kind of on the fence about it?
Clair: Oh, do it. Do it. And I’m hearing Ben Stiller’s voice from –
Kori: The only one I know of is Zoolander. Like that’s the only Ben Stiller movie I really know.
Clair: No, somebody’s going to know and they’ll tell us, It was the 70s cop show. Anyway, do it. I can just hear him in my voice. Just do it because it is tremendous. It’s such value. I can’t tell you how much I’ve gotten out of working together.
And, obviously I wouldn’t come on the podcast and yammer on about it if I didn’t believe that the value is huge. And for someone who likes to spend money on various nice things in life, this is one of the nicest things I’ve ever given myself, is this opportunity to grow.
Yeah, we’re going to get teary here. We’re looking at each other on Zoom and we’re going to get teary.
Kori: Clair, I love hearing this. It’s such a delight to coach you. And I do know how much you love to buy yourself luxury treats. So to be considered one of those, it really makes my heart sing. Thank you so much for saying that.
Clair: Oh, you are absolutely part of my VIP experience, 100%.
Kori: Yes.
Clair: And I just remembered, it’s Starsky and Hutch. Go watch the Starsky and Hutch movie, very fun.
Kori: Okay, good to know. Okay, Clair, anyone who wants to like, learn more about you, come hire you in your business, where can they find you?
Clair: Well, I am on Instagram at Clair CG, which is C-L-A-I-R-C-G. And you can also go to my website, which is Claircg.com. Or you can always reach out to me on LinkedIn, but it would be great to get to know other people in the industry. I always love chatting with people. If you have any questions, you’re welcome to throw them at me. But yeah, that’s where to find me. Instagram is usually a good place to start, although I have to admit, I tend to look more than I post.
Kori: I think that’s fair. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and for sharing about your experience of working with me and just shining your beautiful light on all of my listeners.
Clair: It has been an honor. I appreciate it. And I look forward to seeing what you’re going to create next. I’m super excited about it.
Kori: Ooh, me too. I’ve been feeling in a mode of like, I think something new is coming and I don’t know what it is. So everyone stay tuned for that.
Clair: Okay.
Kori: And anyone who would like to have a conversation with me about working together, you can go over to my website, korilinn.com and sign up for a consult call. It’s totally free, and we’ll just have a conversation about what it might be like to work together. And if it seems like a good fit, maybe we’ll move forward from there.
All right, talk to y’all next time.
Thank you for joining me for this week’s episode of Satisfied AF. If you are ready to create a wildly delicious life and have way more fun than you ever thought possible, visit www.korilinn.com to see how I can help. See you next week.
The Satisfied AF podcast is the place to learn how to create a life and career that’s wildly delicious. Want a steamier sex life? We’ve got you. Want a more satisfying career? We’ll cover that too. And you can be sure we’ll spend lots of time talking about how to build connected, fun relationships that can handle life’s ups and downs. No matter what goals you’re working on, this show will help you create a one of a kind life that is just right for you. Join me, life and career coach Kori Linn and each week I’ll give you lots of practical tips, tools, and proven strategies to help you create all the satisfaction your heart desires.
Kori: Hello, hello, hello. Happy Wednesday. This week, I have a super special treat for all of you. This week we have my friend and client, Clair, on the podcast to tell you all about her experience working with me. And rather than introduce her, I just want you to hear from Clair herself. Clair, why don’t you tell us a little bit about who you are, how you came to work with me, just kick off the conversation.
Clair: You got it. Well, first of all, Kori, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. Always a pleasure to talk to you, whatever the subject matter is. And hi, everybody. My name is Clair and I hope it’s a beautiful day wherever you are in the world. I’ve been working with Kori on and off for – Well, we’ve known each other for probably four plus years. And then we’ve been working together for over two years now, I think.
Kori: Yeah, I think that’s right.
Clair: And, yeah, so I’ve done both one-to-one coaching with you and also been part of your small group, all of which has been fantastic. I’m on my, I don’t know, third round, fourth round of one-on-one coaching, which has been great. Something like that.
Kori: Yeah, I think it’s the third round.
Clair: Third round.
Kori: I know, we lose track.
Clair: I know. Let’s just say I keep coming back. But I am a, what popped into my mind is a recovering executive from the creative industry. I’m based in New York and Kori was my first one-to-one coach that I had ever worked with. I had had some coaching within a couple of coaching groups in the past, but never found someone that I connected with as much as Kori. So I was so happy when she was available and had some space.
And I have learned so much working together and we’ve achieved some pretty amazing things along the way. And, you know, blood, sweat, and tears, probably more sweat and tears than blood, I would be admitting.
Kori: Yeah, I think that’s correct.
Clair: But as a former goth who’s now in menopause, we have had blood and sweat and there were tears, but it’s been all good.
Kori: Yes. I loved what you said about being a recovering executive and I want to get into that, but first tell everybody why you originally came to me for one-on-one coaching, what your goal was and what the update on that is after we’ve worked together.
Clair: Okay, boy, I should have gone back and looked at my notes, but I’m pretty sure I have a good idea. I had been on the consulting side. I left a corporate job in the fashion industry about six years ago. And I’ve had some good years, I’ve had some lean years, but they were inconsistent. And some of that I can certainly put on the circumstances at the time.
So there were years, let’s just say the pandemic was not a great year. 2020 was a little hard, but then 2021 was better. 19 was pretty good, or 18 was good, 19 was not so great. So I wasn’t clear how to take my business to the next level or even if I should be trying. There was that moment of when do I give up? And when do I just say enough, I want to go back to having a fat salary. And if that means I have to work 80 hours a week some weeks, okay, which I really didn’t want to do.
So a big part of why I came is to really take my business to the next level. Figure out what I needed to do to have a blend of freedom and success and let’s face it, money, while not losing my head. Without losing the time that I love to have to do things like going to museums. And I live in New York, I can take advantage of so many amazing things. I don’t necessarily want to work full-time. What does that look like in my business?
So the way we actually started working together was a little bit tumultuous from my perspective, because you had suggested a money goal, which I was terrified of because I had this idea that, oh my God, if we make it a money goal, then I’m just going to have to pull all guns blazing, go take every single project and it doesn’t matter if you want to do it or not. Just kind of put the blinders on and massive action towards that.
But then I remember actually we had a conversation right when we started working together because you had a podcast on, was it mellow action?
Kori: Mellow massive action. Yes, I love that.
Clair: Mellow massive actions, it was so good because it really encapsulated a great blend of massive action, which is a wonderful thing, and not feeling like you’re 150 miles an hour all the time, which I don’t want to do anymore, which is why I left corporate.
Kori: Right, because that’s exactly what I was going to say. Like that is why you left being an executive, from my understanding. That’s why you don’t want that full-time job, is because you don’t want that super intense, high pressure, unsustainable kind of burnout-y way of working. Like that was exactly what you wanted to avoid.
And I remember having these conversations with you like, well, what if it’s a money goal, like X dollars, but it’s also while Y factors, while being able to take a walk every day, while being able to go to a museum once a week. While being able to have these other factors in your life that you also wanted, because even when we want to be successful in our business, it’s never just about the money goal.
Clair: Right. Yes.
Kori: It’s about the life, the satisfying life that that fits into.
Clair: Absolutely. I will refrain from swearing or at least attempt to on this podcast.
Kori: Oh, there’s no need to refrain from swearing. I mean, it’s called Satisfied AF, and we all know what the F is for.
Clair: It’s for fun, which it is. But yeah, that was the big thing. I think I also had a really strict definition of what success looked like that was based on really what, I mean, let’s face it, what society had taught me, what I learned growing up.
Kori: Of course.
Clair: Which was do your 9 to 5 job, or really in my case, your 8am till 11pm job, work really hard, take two weeks off a year, or if you’re really lucky, you get four weeks off a year, which you’ll probably have to answer emails and phone calls while that’s happening anyway. And then deal with burnout, deal with not feeling satisfied.
And that was really, I think, a big part of why when we started working together, I loved, again, I was very hesitant on the money goal. But as you said, it was a money goal, and also being satisfied as fun, as AF, because that was really what I wanted, was how do I pay rent in New York, which is not cheap. God knows, anybody listening out there knows I’m talking about that. You all in San Francisco know the same thing. And so how do you do that, and still have the elements of your life that make your life complete and have time to rest?
And that’s really what I was missing. I had the first thing, which was I was successful. I was well known. I was making bookoo dollars, but I didn’t have the satisfaction of my life. I was tired. Every weekend was like, can I stay up past 8pm? And what really is fun to me? And am I enjoying what I’m doing? And how am I spending my time? And I was spending my time at work.
Which, hey, look, if that is your thing, I am 110% for it. I want people to go after what they love. But for me, I wanted more out of life, while not having what I used to call the one taco lifestyle, which is you go into a restaurant and you can only afford one taco. I want to be able to have two or three tacos if I’m hungry. And that’s, of course, a metaphor for all the things that we like to have in life. But that was really something that was important to me that I did not have. I felt like it was either or, you have success and you have money, or you enjoy your life.
Kori: Right. It sounds like you were like, oh, either I can have the variety of tacos in my career, or I can have the variety of tacos in this other area of my life. And you were like, you know what, fuck that. What I would really like is to be able to have flexibility and variety and abundance in multiple areas.
I think we should just tell people because I think this is so fun. When Clair and I set the money goal, the money goal we set was literally like 3x what she’d done in her business the year before. And that’s scary, right? It can be really scary to set a big goal that is that far away from your current reality or your recent reality.
And a lot of times y’all, you know me, I’m all about like, let’s baby step, like let’s make these small moves. But sometimes it can also be really powerful to be like, where do I actually want to be? And be honest with yourself about that, whether you hit the goal on the first try or not.
Like I’ve talked many times on the podcast about my first goal was to make six figures in my business. And the first 12 months I was in business, I made less than $15,000. And I just remember crying, like weeping at one of my coach’s coaching retreats, like this isn’t enough money. I’m never going to make money.
And the second 12 months in business, I did make $100,000, right? So it’s like having the goal the first time was painful because I was so far away from it. But being willing to have it, fail at it and then do it again and then succeed was actually one of the best things. Like it was a really killer experience.
But for Clair, she didn’t fail it the first time.
Clair: No.
Kori: We set that goal that was three X her previous revenue and you achieved that shit. Tell us about it.
Clair: I did. I did it and I made like my money goal and like $800. I mean, it was just like just over the edge. And it was hard. I mean, I will admit, I think 90, it must’ve been 80 or 90% of the income that year came in the fourth quarter.
Kori: Right.
Clair: It was just one of those years where we were, as we talk a lot about now, planting the seeds and then sowing the seeds. Really, the garden of life, if you will.
Kori: The garden of revenue, right? You were planting the seeds, you were nurturing the seeds.
Clair: Yes.
Kori: And unlike actual seeds where the actual sun will shine on them, you have to be the sun. You have to be the water, right?
Clair: Yes, absolutely.
Kori: And you did that. But yeah, then they all were like trying to blossom and fruit at the same time. And then you were trying to harvest all the fruit, which can be a thing that happens, y’all, in business. Like sometimes you plant a lot of seeds and that’s great. And then all the fruit comes to harvest and you’re like, oh, how do I harvest all this fruit at one time?
Clair: Right. And that’s when you realize, oh, do I have a scalable business and I should be bringing in additional people. And that is something that I’ve learned to do.
We set that money goal in 22, and then in 23 I did have a couple of projects where I needed additional help. And I knew how to handle that in a different way than I had before we had gone through the money goal, actually.
Kori: That’s amazing. I think that’s such a good point too, that like when you have a goal and you achieve it, it’s awesome. Don’t get me wrong, that part is amazing. And that’s one of the things that coaching helps with the most is you set a goal, you figure out how to achieve the goal. But in achieving the goal, you often also figure out, to use a metaphor, where are the holes in my boat, right?
Clair: Yes.
Kori: And sometimes you’re like, oh, I thought I could bring in that amount of revenue with only me in the business. And if everything had gone perfectly, maybe I could have, but because all the fruit harvested in the fourth quarter, then I’m like, oh, maybe I need additional help to be able to do this work on this timeline. And that doesn’t mean you failed or that anything has gone wrong. And I’m not just saying this for Clair. Clair already knows this.
I’m saying this for everyone listening, because I think so often people do achieve their goal or they get close to it. And then new interesting obstacles and challenges come up. And that can feel really disheartening if you’re not expecting those. But that actually can be a sign that you’re growing and going in the direction you want to.
But at every level there are challenges, which I’m sorry, I know that’s so rude. And our brains, we’re all like, when I get to this level, everything will be perfect and fun. And that’s not real. I’m so sorry, it’s not.
Clair: But that’s kind of the – Yes, that’s painful, but one of the things I’ve learned working together over the past few years is that that’s another opportunity for growth.
Kori: Definitely.
Clair: And so one of the things we spoke about at the beginning of 2023, after I achieved my money goal in 22 is, okay, I know I can do it. I was tired. I mean, Q4 was tough in 22. So how do I do it now with more of the elements of what I want? Now I can do it, now how do I make it even better the next time?
Kori: How do I make it more joyful? How do I make it more sustainable? Because especially for you, you’re a recovering executive. We’re not trying to have a copy paste of the lifestyle you didn’t like, right? If you wanted that lifestyle, you’d go back into being an employee.
And so sometimes when we have a burst of success, then it’s also like, oh, this was great. A million points for me and my efforts and my success and achieving that goal, and that’s actually not exactly how I want it to happen.
Actually, this has happened to me over and over in my business. It’s been like having success and then being like, okay, but I do not want to carbon copy that. How do I make these big and small adjustments so the business and my experience of it and my goals and successes can be more and more in line with what I want?
And oftentimes you don’t know that until you’ve had some successes where you’re like, this was great and I’d never like to do that part that way ever again.
Clair: Yes. Yes, and Kori got to experience me dealing with a number of clients who were wonderful people, and are to this day, but we had our challenges. And I was working with new clients, in some cases working with clients I’d worked with before, but I was in some cases doing projects that I’d never done before, working with clients that I’d never worked with before. And so one of the great things about coaching and about working with Kori was that we were able to tackle those week to week.
So it wasn’t just the money goal. It was dealing with all of the thoughts and feelings and emotions and the trials and tribulations that happened during this. And then being able to, you know, at the beginning of the next year, because at the end of the year it was the holidays, so I just wanted to have a margarita and go off into the sunset.
But the beginning of the next year talking about, okay, what did we learn? What’s next? What does my business look like now that we’re going into the next phase? And that really has been interesting as well.
Kori: I love that you’re bringing that up too, because I think sometimes when we’re working in business, our brains almost forget, like revenue is not a lottery prize. When you get revenue, it’s because you got work, right? And we’re all like, yes, the revenue, I got the big amount. But then there’s the work that goes with that.
And maybe that sounds really obvious, everyone listening. But I think when you’re used to working in like a 9 to 5 or an 8 to 11, like Clair was saying, and then you’re working in a business and now you’re the salesperson and you’re doing the delivery of the product and you’re doing all these things, sometimes you’re kind of going after revenue goals like they are the targets, but there’s this other you who, it’s the same person, who then also has to deliver on that.
And so that can bring up a lot of challenges. It doesn’t always, but I think it often does. And being really aware of that, I think, can actually help you achieve so much more business success because then you’re like, oh, okay, I have a coach or I have a team or I have these things in place so that not only can I receive the revenue, but all of the challenges and problems and tasks and decisions and things that come in that are the work, essentially, of earning the revenue, I actually have the capacity to handle all of that.
Clair: Yes, 100%. And I think that actually since then, since the money goal, the goals have shifted. Not to say that I don’t want to make that money anymore because I do, but now the goals are more about what’s the type of work I’m taking? How am I pitching things?
And honestly, a lot of the work last year was really about how I’m treating myself while going after this work.
Kori: Yes, because if you have an insanely successful business with extremely high revenue, but you treat yourself unkindly, it’s not going to be fun to be in that business, y’all. And that’s why at the end of the day, like I’m always talking about, how do you love yourself through things and how do you have an incredible, kind relationship with yourself?
Because no amount of external success is going to give you a better relationship with yourself. And you can weather and navigate incredible amounts of external difficulty and challenge if you do have that positive relationship with yourself. Like it will carry you through whether externally things are going great or going fucking terribly.
Clair: Right, right. And just knowing that, you know, feeling the feelings and being okay with where I am has been revolutionary in so many ways for me because where it used to be, you know, let’s face it, it’s traumatizing when people don’t write you back in a way. Oh my God, they looked at my scope of work and they’re never going to respond. I actually am dealing with this with a client right now.
But instead of making it about, did I say the wrong thing in the email? Maybe I asked her for too much money. Am I really worth it? All of those things, of course, came up in my head. It’s not like they go away, but I feel like I have a toolkit now, along with actually getting to talk to you once a week, but I have a toolkit of things I’ve learned working together that I’m able to say, you know what? Girl, you’ve got to honor your value. You are a powerful human being and it’s so important for you to go after what you know you’re worth and also to make sure that people are aware of what you’re worth.
And so now I respond to a lack of communication from clients or a, let’s face it, you know, they say no, then I might respond in a completely different way. We talked about this the other week. I had a client who came back and said, I can’t afford that. That’s out of the budget that I have. We were talking about doing a workshop together.
And basically I said, look, if you have a budget in mind, tell me how much you would like to spend. And we can figure out if there’s a way we can meet in the middle. Maybe I’m not spending as much time. Maybe we look for local New York events instead of me going to LA or Chicago, for example.
And it really, I would say before we started working together, I would immediately say, okay, thanks for your time and then felt horrible about it, rather than trying to find a solution that works for everybody. And especially me.
Kori: And especially you. Yeah, you first, right? If it can work for you and them, great. Then y’all can work together. If it only works for them and not you, then we’re not going to take that project, right?
But yeah, I think really, coaching, it’s a toolkit that helps you be more solutions oriented. But it’s interesting because a lot of my clients already come to me very solutions oriented. Like you had a ton of experience solving problems in your industry. But I think what coaching helps with is the emotional side of things, as well as the actual problem solving of like, okay, person who wants to be my client but doesn’t have the budget, how do we move forward? What are the options?
But it’s also like being able to handle the disappointment, the devastation, the rejection without metabolizing that and making it about yourself. Like allowing that to come and pass through so you can keep going out and building the life you want to have, the career you want to have, et cetera.
And honestly, it is hard. Running a business is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And I think there’s a lot on the internet that’s all about how running a business is amazing because you plan your own schedule. And listen, it is and I love that element of it. And it’s also just a bucket of challenges with no IT department, right?
Clair: That’s the truth.
Kori: I actually was just dealing with a tech issue this weekend that I was crying. I was like, maybe I quit my business. I’m not quitting my business, y’all. But this is my brain too, right? It’s like when it’s hard, my brain’s like, oh. But we just keep going and we figure it out.
Okay, we could talk about everything all day long for forever, but let’s tell the people listening, like before you decided to come and work with me, did you have any reservations about coaching, about working with me, et cetera? And like, how do you feel about them now, whatever they were?
Clair: Well, I think if people couldn’t guess, money. Money is one of my challenges. And so I had a lot of thoughts about spending the money. I had been in a coaching group, which was about a hundred bucks a month. And that was hard for me in the beginning, but then I got there. And I knew that I wanted to evolve my business.
And I think really what that turned out to be was evolving me as much as it was actually evolving the business plan. But I didn’t know that that was going, you know, it’s not like buying a sweater at Nordstrom where you can see it and it’s tangible. And I know that this is a black sweater and it’s cashmere and it fits really well. And therefore the magic eight ball says signs point to, yes, that you are going to love wearing this sweater.
So coaching felt a little bit more nebulous. And I’ve always had, you know, for being a creative person, it’s very hard for me sometimes to make a decision if I can’t see what the result is going to be where. We’re sort of guessing because, obviously, with coaching part of it is what I bring to the table as well. This is a two-way street.
Looking at the funds and deciding that this was something that I was passionate about in that I knew that it was time for me to take the next step, that things had kind of been in a rut in my business for a few years, again, some good years, some not so good years, but nothing was evolving.
And that’s really what I wanted to see was, okay, if I invest in myself and I work with Kori and we figure out, you know, Kori, you coached me on how to kind of get my thoughts and feelings together to help evolve my business. And look, if at the end of that, I say, you know what? This entrepreneurial stuff is just too much, I’m going back in house. Then that’s great. But I would have –
I saw that it was a way to, I don’t want to say prove to myself whether I could do it or not, or really decide if I wanted to do it or not. And once I made the decision to go forth and do it, I was super excited. And that changed so much.
And the first time we worked together, I think we worked together for about six months. And I went and I actually was asked to be the chair of a conference. I took that on. I probably would not have done that before because I was too nervous. We talked a lot about how I was going to show up at the conference, how I was going to treat myself, what I was going to say when I got off stage. So much of that helped immensely.
And now, as you know, I’m a global thought leader. I get invited to speak at events. People pay me to speak at events, which I think is pretty remarkable.
Kori: It’s so fun.
Clair: It is. It is. And it’s just like, that’s my life. That is what I’m doing now. And so the investment for me has been tremendous. I mean, I’ve seen incredible return on my investment, let’s go ROI people. I think my biggest hesitation wasn’t, am I going to get something out of this? It was, am I going to get value out of something I’m spending money on?
Kori: I think that’s a very real concern for a lot of people. And I think you’re right, I do think coaching is nebulous. Especially because in the way I do it, it is a little bit different for everybody. And it’s a little bit like we’re picking up rocks and seeing what’s underneath them.
So people will come in and they’ll say, I want to enjoy being in my business more. Or I want to triple my revenue or I want to feel less stressed at work. And we always work on that, but it’s also a little bit like going into a dark labyrinth and then we’re like, oh, look what we found in here. And I do think that element is kind of unnerving for people.
But I also think it’s so worthwhile because that’s how you discover what was actually blocking you from getting what you wanted. And sometimes it’s a surprise when it turns out that it is.
Clair: Yes. Yes, I agree with that. I would have said that I was plenty nice to myself, but now I can say that I am truly in love with being me. There’s no one I’d rather be. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have days where I’m like, oh my God, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You look this, I don’t want to do that. You said something wrong, whatever. You know, the stuff your brain gives you every single day.
Kori: You are still human, correct.
Clair: Yes, exactly.
Kori: Yeah, me too.
Clair: Exactly, the morning madness sometimes I call it. But I know how to deal with it differently. I know sometimes when I get triggered in that way, and I don’t mean a PTSD thing, just simply when my brain goes to some dark places, the work that we’ve done together, I’m able to also say, okay, take a step back. Here are some things that you should maybe think about doing, or let’s do a thought download. Let’s do a model. Let’s see if we can get to what the thought is.
But if not, honestly, with me, sometimes it’s just go divert my attention with whatever it is that I’m terrified of. And usually it’s a work project. Go spend five minutes doing it. You gave me some advice one time when I was trying to work on a huge deck for a client, which your job is to put words on a page.
And when you took it out of the terrifying, “I have to develop a hundred page deck” and made it put words on a page, then every day when I sat down to work, whatever the topic was that I needed to write on, words on a page. And it enabled me to really segment it in a way that was edible, if you will, bite-sized bits.
Kori: And for everyone who’s listening, the final product was, of course, wonderful. It wasn’t just words on a page. But what a phrase like your only job is to put words on the page, what that does is it gets you out of the paralysis. It gets you out of the terror. It gets you out of the, this has to be perfect or I’ll never get another fucking client ever again, or this has to be perfect or I will like die. Right?
So the brain, when it’s really afraid of something, often wants to either run away, fight it, be paralyzed, et cetera, right? Like these are the stress responses. So when we can take the stakes down, we’re not being disrespectful to the size of the task. We’re not being disrespectful to what the client is paying us for. What we’re actually doing is we’re just lowering the stakes until we can do it.
And then once we start doing it, then usually we’re like, oh yeah, I do know some things about this thing, right? And then after we’ve done the first pass, second pass, third pass, then we can also come in with our much more critical, and I don’t mean that like judgmental, I mean that like thoughtful. Like, okay, how do I make this actually a really great product?
So what we’re doing there is we’re just allowing ourselves to get started by lowering the stakes, which is something I talk about all the time, but I really wanted to give that context to what Clair was talking about in this moment.
Clair: Yes. Yes. And what it enabled me to do is really get my first draft done so that each section I could get the first draft done and then go back and edit it. And somehow, for me, editing is a lot easier than the first draft, probably for most people. It’s that first initial, oh my God, I have so much I have to do. And then when you can remove some of that terror, you just dive in. And as we know with that well-known brand, just do it, that’s quite poignant and I think that means something.
Kori: It’s like I made a TikTok, actually, this morning that was like, if you can’t whole-ass it, half-ass it because you can get a lot done by half-assing it and you can always come back later and polish what you’ve done, right?
Clair: Absolutely.
Kori: But for some of us, it’s like that getting started is the hardest part. So just get started.
I do think, Clair, there are actually other people who are great at first drafts and what they struggle with is polishing, right? This is why a lot of times we work in teams or pairs, right, because one person’s good at this part and one person’s good at the other. But if you’re alone in your business, there are accommodations you can make, you know, coaching tools you can use to help yourself do the part that actually doesn’t come as naturally or as easy to you.
Also, we can obviously hire people out, but that’s not always an option. So being able to support yourself in the ways you need to be supported to get the job done, that’s definitely a big thing we do in coaching.
Clair: Yes. Yes. And I think what popped into my head is when you’re an entrepreneur or a solopreneur, you have to be Lennon and McCartney. And then I realized, I’m not sure that people will get that, so let’s say you have to be Beyonce and Jay-Z, and that can be really hard work because you’ve got to change your hats. And as you said earlier, when you are a business development person, you’re doing the work, you’re the accounting group, you are the presentation specialist, you’re post-production, you’re the whole kit and caboodle.
Kori: You’re the IT department.
Clair: Exactly. I draw the line at doing my own taxes though. That one, I have to send that one out. But yeah, really that’s a lot of hats to wear. And I think that a lot of us have a lot of hats to wear in life. And sometimes it’s hard to navigate, you know, who am I today? Who am I in this moment? Who am I in this moment? And to find the undercurrent of who I am in every moment and be able to bring her into every moment, if you will.
I mean, I think I’ve said it to you before, it’s like when I show up as myself, that’s when the magic happens. And that’s something I’ve learned from working with you, which is that I don’t have to replace who I am to be somebody to make other people happy. I can just be myself and make myself happy. And from that, then look, if people aren’t happy, I’m sorry. But most people are, and that’s amazing.
Kori: Right. I will also say, just to piggyback on that, I think what coaching does, it does allow you to bring yourself with love and respect into every situation. It also allows you to give yourself the support you need to thrive in circumstances that you wouldn’t normally thrive in.
I think so often before coaching, people are like, well, I’m good at this and I’m bad at that. And then I have to beat myself up about the thing I’m bad at. Whereas I’m like, okay, you’re good at this. That’s great.
If this other thing, you have a struggle or a challenge, I’m not even going to say you’re bad at that. I’m like, you have a struggle or a challenge, how can we accommodate that? How can we work around that? How can we support you uniquely and individually in that? Because then you can bring yourself to every situation and generally be successful in them because you’re working with yourself instead of kind of working against yourself.
Clair: Yes. Yes.
Kori: Yes.
Clair: Plus life is just better when you’re not beating yourself up all the time.
Kori: Right? It is just better. Who would you rather spend time with, someone who’s kind to you and supports you or someone who beats you up? I mean, as I always say on the podcast, if that’s working for you, if it’s like a sexy self BDSM thing, I’m not here to take that away from you. I’m just like, what’s going to be delightful for you personally? What if we do more of that?
Clair: Yes. Yes. Yes, agreed.
Kori: Okay, Clair, what would you tell anyone who has been considering working with me, but is kind of on the fence about it?
Clair: Oh, do it. Do it. And I’m hearing Ben Stiller’s voice from –
Kori: The only one I know of is Zoolander. Like that’s the only Ben Stiller movie I really know.
Clair: No, somebody’s going to know and they’ll tell us, It was the 70s cop show. Anyway, do it. I can just hear him in my voice. Just do it because it is tremendous. It’s such value. I can’t tell you how much I’ve gotten out of working together.
And, obviously I wouldn’t come on the podcast and yammer on about it if I didn’t believe that the value is huge. And for someone who likes to spend money on various nice things in life, this is one of the nicest things I’ve ever given myself, is this opportunity to grow.
Yeah, we’re going to get teary here. We’re looking at each other on Zoom and we’re going to get teary.
Kori: Clair, I love hearing this. It’s such a delight to coach you. And I do know how much you love to buy yourself luxury treats. So to be considered one of those, it really makes my heart sing. Thank you so much for saying that.
Clair: Oh, you are absolutely part of my VIP experience, 100%.
Kori: Yes.
Clair: And I just remembered, it’s Starsky and Hutch. Go watch the Starsky and Hutch movie, very fun.
Kori: Okay, good to know. Okay, Clair, anyone who wants to like, learn more about you, come hire you in your business, where can they find you?
Clair: Well, I am on Instagram at Clair CG, which is C-L-A-I-R-C-G. And you can also go to my website, which is Claircg.com. Or you can always reach out to me on LinkedIn, but it would be great to get to know other people in the industry. I always love chatting with people. If you have any questions, you’re welcome to throw them at me. But yeah, that’s where to find me. Instagram is usually a good place to start, although I have to admit, I tend to look more than I post.
Kori: I think that’s fair. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and for sharing about your experience of working with me and just shining your beautiful light on all of my listeners.
Clair: It has been an honor. I appreciate it. And I look forward to seeing what you’re going to create next. I’m super excited about it.
Kori: Ooh, me too. I’ve been feeling in a mode of like, I think something new is coming and I don’t know what it is. So everyone stay tuned for that.
Clair: Okay.
Kori: And anyone who would like to have a conversation with me about working together, you can go over to my website, korilinn.com and sign up for a consult call. It’s totally free, and we’ll just have a conversation about what it might be like to work together. And if it seems like a good fit, maybe we’ll move forward from there.
All right, talk to y’all next time.
Thank you for joining me for this week’s episode of Satisfied AF. If you are ready to create a wildly delicious life and have way more fun than you ever thought possible, visit www.korilinn.com to see how I can help. See you next week.
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